One of those days

Have you ever had one? One of those days? You know, the ones I'm talking about. The ones where you are frustrated and you lash out at a perfectly nice person. And usually it is not for no reason, but for a justified reason in your own mind. Whatever it might have been, it has caused hard feelings and now said person on the receiving end of the tongue lashing is now avoiding you like the plague?

Yeah, well, that is me today.

I am not unjustified in my ranting, but I see myself in this younger person. This person, the nice one, is SO nice that they go overboard pleasing people. And the more they give, the more others take, and even that is not enough. Now they want perfection... no, they demand it of this person.

I have been there. I know. And this attitude almost caused me so much stress that I nearly gave myself an early heart attack.

So, when people, no matter how nice they are, want to pull me back into that world of stress, that world of perfection, that world of people pleasing, I do NOT want to journey any more forward in that direction. That means that my instinct is to resist. And resist I did today. I should have thought first, but I was in a mood, we all have them. I had to navigate yet another snow storm this morning, had to do the same the night before and I was just plain pooped by life.

Even though I feel justified in my actions, I am sorry I hurt this person's feelings. But it makes me think about all the things we do each day that we really do not want to do. Why do we do these things? Are we a secret people pleaser underneath all the attitude we show the world?

I want to escape this attitude but am constantly challenged by it nearly every day. I try to be the good Samaritan, but I am human and not perfect, I remind myself. But I want to do good, be good, act good. But there are just some days, those days, when perfection just misses the mark.

Psalm 119:96

To all perfection I see a limit, but your commands are boundless.